High self-esteem day
Friday was a day to strengthen my self-esteem with a number of events (written on Friday):
- D just asked me how to do something obscure in Excel and I was able to recall from my many years of Excel devotion from way back when exactly what it was called. Minor, but nice.
- When I had my friend & neighbor's daughter this afternoon, she had three minor fits at the grocery store. With each I calmly stood my ground. During the third one, she actually got down in the middle of the produce section and started crying. I continued to stand my ground and was able to calmly bring an end to the fit without giving in one little bit. I had about ten people watching me as this fit went down. A woman (60-ish) came up to me after it was over and commented how well I handled it. Excellent.
- I got a number of things done today and this makes me feel good.
- Finally, Avery is starting to understand the new reward system I started a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to give her an incentive to do things like tidy her room and set the table without me asking her to do them. So I decided to tell her she could earn two tickets if she did a task without me asking her to do it and one ticket when she does it when I ask her to. She has, predictably, said no to performing a task I ask her to do. To get around this, I tell her that the choice is do the task and earn a ticket, or I still make her do the task, but she earns no ticket. It only took one time of her having to do the task and getting no ticket for her to realize she should take the one ticket deal. Anyway, I thought it wasn't getting through to her that doing tasks without being asked would rewarded. However, in the past couple of days, she's taken the initiative to do a few tasks.
Sushi & Gelato
D and I took Avery and the G kids out for sushi and gelato tonight. Considering we were out to eat with a 4, 3, and 2 yo, it went very well. Best part was by the time we got home it was immediately time for bed!
Beach Trip
Elise earned a reward of going on a beach trip with a friend. She chose to take Avery. As long as G3 stays put, Avery will be off to the beach with Elise and Jay tomorrow for the bulk of the day. In the evening is our date night. Nice.
Update on Sunday: Avery had a great time with Elise and Jay at the beach. And given the time, the Gs just kept Avery straight through date night, which meant that D and I had from 11:30 - the night free!
Estate Sale
On the way home from soccer today, Avery and I happened upon an estate sale. So we popped in and I ended up buying a telephone chair/table, you know, because there's nothing like buying furniture for antiquated technologies. Next up: fax table!
I plan to eventually (ha! in Megan-terms, that's like 4 years) refinish the wood so it's a darker colored wood, as well as reupholster it. I just like it because it's unique. Since I moved the chair that was in my office into the living room, I've been wanting a replacement. I was just going to buy a cheap IKEA chair, but saw this and figured what the hell. Plus, it's got a little nook below the table where I'm quite sure Avery will have a ton of fun putting things.
TV
I have been on a Seinfeld rerun kick. I have no idea why. I'm loving it, though. Between Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, I'm cracking up all day.
Oh, and if you're not watching Suits, you should be.
Hipsters
D and I spent our aforementioned free time on Saturday while Avery was at the beach shopping for our costumes for Partiamo, which is the name of the annual company retreat with D's office. The theme this year is hipsters. Time will tell if I have the guts to wear my hipster costume. I am not one to dress to standout and my outfit is quite loud.
Light Therapy
My light and ion therapy lamp has arrived. I'm using it for the first time as I type this. I've had much more energy this week. In fact, I think I'm bordering on normal-person energy levels! So exciting. I've gotten a lot done, at least relative to my sloth-like pace of the previous month or two.
Gold Star
Now, I'd like to award myself with a gold star. Since returning from Mexico, I've done an excellent job in keeping the house tidy and free of clutter. This is a huge step for me since it's a change to a lifelong habit of leaving things laying around and then doing a major clean every once in a while. I think even D would agree with my self-award. Maybe he'll actually comment on my blog for the first time ever. :)
Adoption Article
This article on adoption is a difficult read. When the adoption disruption for the Russian boy who was sent back to Russia alone happened, I started reading a blog of a mother who has one biological child and several adopted children from Haiti. Many suffer from RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Reading her blog has been eye opening. In fact, I am 99% sure she is Carol, the woman interview for this article.
Avery & School
I love how much Avery loves to go to school. She was asking to go to school as D and I were watching the end of the Brazil game on TV this morning. I love that she pesters me to take her. She's always happy to be left there and always happy when I pick her up. She is, however, a bit more clingy on the evenings after she's been at school. I have learned to get dinner mostly ready before I pick her up so that she and I can spend time cuddling immediately when we get home. That makes the evenings go much more smoothly.
Dance
Yesterday, we met Kerry & Lily (our neighbors from up the street) to do a drop-in dance class. First we went to the playground in Laurelhurst Park for 30 minutes or so, then we went a little early to the class to watch the older girls do ballet. When it came time to start dance class, Avery was so excited ... then the music started and she just froze. She had a very concerned look on her face for a good 30 minutes. She wouldn't dance, she wouldn't leave my side, she wouldn't do anything remotely resembling a child having a good time. Finally, the teacher did an activity with scarves. And just like that, Avery dropped all her reservations and started dancing and smiling and running around with the rest of the class. I was a little surprised she was so hesitant, but even more surprised that the hesitation left all at once. In fact, she loved it so much that she continued to dance after the class, even after I left the room to pay. When I came back, I told her we needed to leave and she started bawling. And it wasn't bawling like a tantrum as much it was sheer devastation that we were leaving. We'll definitely be back for another class. I also really liked the teacher. She was very good about talking to Avery even when Avery was scared. She didn't coddle her, but wasn't scary, and was simply pitch perfect in her interaction with the kids. It was impressive.
Wednesday = Mommy/Daughter Date Day
On Wednesday, Avery and I went to see Wallace and Gromit for free. Regal offers a Free Family Film Festival in the summers, which I didn't know about until Amber let me know about it. Avery did very well in the movie. She sat on my lap the entire movie without complaint and was interested the whole time. She did ask for M&M's when the movie started, so I had to explain that we don't always buy candy and popcorn when we go to the theater, but she handled it well.
After the movie, we went to get sushi for lunch. Avery LOVES raw salmon. Loves. She cannot eat it fast enough. In fact, she ate six pieces of salmon. Every bite. And did so with chopsticks. Awesome. I even took video because I was so proud. I think because we had such a rough start with eating solids, I just burst from happiness that she is now a good eater. She's still a toddler and has toddler-like moments related to eating, but for the most part, she'll try most things and eats a balanced diet without any pressuring from us.
Here's a video of sushi eating with chopsticks and of Avery after dance class. The video quality isn't the greatest.
Up or Down?
Two thumbs up for my menu planning and execution this week. Yes, that's only three meals since I'll be out for dinner with friends tonight, then date night on Friday night, but still. It's better execution than usual.
Two thumbs up since I've gone to work out for three days in a row. This is good.
Two thumbs down, waaaaay down. I have consumed dessert on all three workout days, which undoubtedly eclipses all calories burned while working out and walking the dogs. Not good. Last night, I actually drove to the grocery store because I had such a craving for Laffy Taffy (yes, Amber, I was dashing up to the candy section with 2nd graders - made me think of Bend!)
Two thumbs sideways for my Diet Coke consumption. I'm definitely not at a zero level, but I rarely drink it at home despite having it available to me. And I'm not desperate to find some DC when I'm out and about. There have been times when I can't figure out why there aren't soda fountains at intersections.
Two thumbs mostly up for Avery's TV watching. I've been very good at limiting her to 30 minutes per day. As with most "rules" we lax on it a bit for traveling. The good news is that we completely solved the angry child during the night syndrome by limiting screen time. Some things I have to learn first hand rather than through the "experts."
Two thumbs cautiously pointing to the 2 o'clock and 10 o'clock positions for Avery's tantrums. To be clear, she is still having the occasional tantrum, so if you witness one, you can't call me a liar. However, it really feels like we made it over a hump. The car seat tantrums are very rare lately. And the tantrums over nothing are decreasing dramatically. We're now in a phase where I can see why people might say something crazy like, "Oh, there's no such thing as the terrible 2's." (And, yes, I know that not all kids go through the tantrums that we've had). I'm definitely not thinking the terrible 2's are done and over with for us. Avery is far too strong willed for that sort of statement to be true, but I'm grateful for the reprieve from the daily, and exhausting, tantrums she was having.
Two thumbs sideways. I didn't plan an activity for Avery and I for today. It's bad because we have no plan which could lead us down a very lazy path. It's good because it means I have flexibility and that could lead us down a very productive path.
Copying
I keep thinking about this, so I want to get it blogged. Every once in a while, when we're out and about, I'll look at Avery and see that she's very closely watching another person and imitating what they're doing. I have video of her stroking her chin as she watched a man with a beard do that while we were waiting for some food.
When we were at the airport after returning from Colorado, she spied a man crossing his legs casually as he rode down the escalator. Watching Avery try to get herself into this same stance makes me smile, even after a couple weeks have passed.
Playlist
Last year around this time, I used to play a Kylie Minogue song that Avery enjoyed. She'd dance to it and ask for "more Kylie!" I put it in a playlist of songs that Avery seemed to enjoy listening to. The song following the Kylie song was Sweet Home Alabama. We've not listened to that playlist for at least six months, probably more. The other night, we switched on Kylie at my suggestion since I was tired of her favorite Michael Jackson song. I played the song outside of any playlist, so when it stopped, it just stopped. Avery sat there for a bit and then said, "Alabama?!" I was shocked she remembered the next song on the playlist. Granted, we played that playlist a lot, but I am still very impressed with her recall, especially since I don't think she could say "Alabama" back when we were listening to the playlist.
Table Setting and Dishwasher Emptying
Avery's become my little helper. Sometimes she even says, "I'm a very good helper!"
Overall, I'd rate Avery excellent at following verbal directions, at least when she's actually paying attention and is in the proper mood. This willingness/ability/tendency to follow directions is coming in handy now. She will set her place at the table for most dinners, though I still have to talk her through all the items she needs to get or she'll end up with a bowl and a full set of silverware, but no napkin or plate or glass. She loves to get her silverware.
She's now "helping" me empty the dishwasher, too. She takes out the dishes and puts them on the island. This is actually useful with the plates and glasses. It's counterproductive that she insists on doing it for the silverware, for each piece of silverware. I should note here that this also works because Avery seems to naturally put glasses and plates and things fully on a surface. I cannot recall her ever putting her glass or plate or whatever down on the table when it's precariously perched halfway on/off.
As she was emptying the dishwasher last night, she pulled out the glass lid for one of our saucepans. I assumed she'd put it on the island with the other items, but she recognized it and knew where it went since it's in a low drawer she can reach, so she put it away. Granted, she basically dropped it from a standing height thereby making a very loud thud, but she remembered where it went and understood the goal of emptying the dishwasher is to put things away. She also puts her plates away in her cupboard rather than up on the counter for me to put away. Oddly, she puts ONLY the plates in her cupboards. She doesn't seem to recognize that she can put away her glasses or silverware. All in due time, I guess.
I also learned last night that I should empty the sharp knives first. I (stupidly) didn't think to do that. I turned around and she'd put the steak knife up on the counter. No harm, no foul, but I made sure to empty the knives first thing this morning even though she wasn't helping me. It's a good habit to have.
