Birthdate

Most Common Birth Dates
I've obviously not had any personal experience with labor. However, after seeing this chart, I think there's no way to deny that there must be some ability to control birth dates (within reason). Check out Dec. 23 - 26. And July 4 & 5. And then on a "good" holiday like Valentine's Day, there's a spike. It also makes me think that Sara just knew what dates she wanted her kids born on, so she made it happen.

I'd like to see this chart using BD data from 2002 - present. I wonder if Sept 11 sees a sharp drop due to what I presume to be an undesirable delivery date? FYI, these data for these dates is from 1973-1999 in the US.

Fighting the Slide 
I'm currently fighting a downward slide to depression. It's been going on for a few weeks now and has really intensified in the last week or so. Things I find interesting about it:

• Every time I come out of an episode (or whatever you want to call it) of depression, I pretty quickly forget what it feels like. I forgot how powerless I seem to be over the hollow pit inside. I remember "it sucks" but I don't remember why it sucks. And, each time I come back to this point, I have to relearn that I can do certain things to make it more tolerable for others around me and to hopefully lessen it, but I also have to lower the expectation bar for myself for a while. 
• During this slide, I've realized that one of my signs that I'd never put together before was an intensifying of Petty Megan. Petty Megan eye rolls at EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and thinks all things are so.lame and so.stupid. I never quite realized it before because, well, I have a certain amount of Petty Megan that is there all the time. However, depression makes Petty Megan come to the forefront. Petty Megan loathes the hipsters and musicians and celebrities and happy people and sullen people and just people in general. Petty Megan thinks anyone pinning anything on Pinterest, including herself, is a complete idiot who is just wasting their time with stupid crafty things. Petty Megan sees the world with a whole different perspective than Less Petty Megan. 
• I can handle staying on top of about 2 things at any given time. That means a field trip with Avery today resulted in me making it and putting on a happy face, but I forgot to pack a lunch for Avery (RHG had to give Avery her own lunch - thanks RHG). It also means I can force myself to Crossfit like I did yesterday (I'm oh-so-proud of that), but then it means that is my Big Effort for the day. 
• I'm sleeping a lot. Yesterday (Avery was at school and RHG's after that), after a full 8 hours of sleep the previous night, I slept from 9:30 - 11:00 am, then from 1:00 - 5:00, then went to bed at 11 for another full night of sleep. This afternoon, I slept (with Avery) for a solid two hours and will head up to bed soon. And that's just the last two days.

Politeness

Before I get started on this rant, I feel the need to say this isn't just Petty Megan talking - I am always boggled by this behavior from adults. I distinctly remember being embarrassed in one of my HS classes when the kids behind me were talking all through a presenter's talk - and one of those kids was my best friend. When someone stands up to give a speech or a presentation, particularly a one-off thing, you freakin' look at the person, stop speaking to those around you, and at least pretend like you're listening!

Today was a field trip for Avery with her school. We all met at a nearby farm for a tour, hayride, playtime, etc. We had some parts of the tour that were guided where people were speaking to the kids and parents. I was embarrassed several times to be part of a group of parents who felt it was OK to talk quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) amongst themselves while someone was talking. On the hayride, I swear it was me and one other mom who were paying attention. Everyone else was just chatting away while this poor guy is up on the tractor telling us about Christmas trees. When the bee talk was going on, moms were chatting quietly and making jokes while the guy was talking, and the same things happened with the pumpkin seed planting. I didn't even hear what the dairy guy had to say because there was so much chatting around me - and he was CLOSE to me. 

It pisses me off to no end. First off, it's just plain rude. I don't care that we're having a fun field trip. It is not OK to model for our children that whispering while someone is talking to us is OK. Secondly, it's selfish. I don't care if you're not interested. If you're standing near enough that you are taking part in the session by your mere proximity, then shut up. Someone of us want to hear about the bees. Third, it shows a definite lack of empathy. The kid who was doing the dairy talk and the hayride talk clearly had rehearsed what he was supposed to say. He clearly wasn't all that familiar with presenting to children. He clearly was a bit embarrassed. Yet people just kept right on talking while he was talking. 

This isn't a new rant for me. It's the same core issue I had with Little Gym's concept that it was all right to let the kids run around and talk while the leader was on the mat leading games. 

Stepping down from my soap box now. 

Food

Food Graphics
I'm a sucker for a good chart. I like when information is broken down into logical parts so it's easy to consume. This one on We Are What We Eat is fascinating. Have a look if you are so inclined.

The Big Picture
I follow The Big Picture blog from the Boston Globe. While looking at their lastest post on Sierra Leone: 10 years after Civil War, I was struck by picture number 4. The boy on the right is wearing a lacrosse jersey. I searched for East Lyme Lacrosse and found it's in Connecticut. I assume this shirt was discarded/donated by some American kid and found its way across the ocean to another continent to this kid in need. It makes me wonder if there are any of my discarded t-shirts being worn by someone far away. I'm sure there are. You donate shirts and people wear them ... duh. But for some reason all I can think about is some kid in Africa walking around in my tennis t-shirt from 7th grade.

Walking
I've walked for an hour each of the last three days. I've also hit my calories (or close enough for me to say I have) for the past three days. Of these accomplishments, by far the most significant is that I walked on day 2. I did this walk between dropping Avery at school and taking D's car in for a service. Which means I did the walk not around my house. It was actually a much easier route - most any route not around here will be easier than a route around here - but I'm still a creature of habit. I normally talk myself out of straying from my usual routes, or I come up with another reason I can't do it, but I stuck with it on day 2 and I'm pleased.

So, yeah, I'm bragging about three days. Sigh. Why are good habits so hard to maintain and bad habits are so easy to fall back into?

And now, D has taken Avery to gym gym (we have no idea why she calls the gym "gym gym," but she does and it's stuck and now we call it gym gym). That means I should be off for my hour walk, too. Yesterday's route: 57 minutes, 3.85 miles, ascent/descent of 562 ft, burned 376 calories.

Woodpecker

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Woody the woodpecker

We have a woodpecker issue.  Let's call him Woody.  Woody has decided that our roof is a great place to make his home.  He seems to particularly enjoy pecking the gutter/side of the house/roof starting around 5:30 am.  The only way to get Woody away from our house is to go into one of the guest rooms and pull up the blinds quickly, thereby scaring him away for a while.  Woodpeckers pecking on a gutter are loud, in case you're wondering.

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Bangs

D and I took Avery to get her haircut yesterday.  We decided to try bangs to minimize hair battles in the morning.  While it doesn't look awful, bangs are definitely not the ideal look for Avery. 

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Date night

D and I originally planned to see two movies last night for our date night.  However, then D remembered that last night was the Survivor finale.  We couldn't very well miss that, so we skipped the second movie and came home to watch.  I don't think anyone else watches Survivor, but I'll just say I'm happy with the outcome.  Very happy.

Oh, and we saw Bridesmaids, a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. Christie was able to join us, so that was a nice change of pace.  Next, D and I would like to see two documentaries: Bill Cunningham New York and Cave of Forgotten Dreams. I know I'll elicit much sympathy when I say that D and I won't have a date night for two whole weeks!  The horror! 

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Self-Compassion

I read this article on self-compassion this morning.  I found it to be very thought provoking.  It made a lot of sense to me.

Case

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SSP1: Knitting Needle Case - 95% done

It's almost done!  All I need to do is put on some sort of button/snap/closure.  I didn't do that at the time because I wanted to finish it, yet wanted to make sure that RHG's longest needles fit in the case.

I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, though I know where every flaw in it is located.  RHG stopped by, for other reasons, today.  We were able to try out her needles, cables, and other items.  I'm pleased, proud, and a bit surprised to report that everything fit perfectly. 

I'm pondering doing another case just to see if I can get closer to perfection.  But what would I do with such a case?  Anyone need a knitting needle case?  KMK?

Exterior of case when it's folded shut.

Interior of case

One more shot of the interior.

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Childpeace = In!  But, we're still going to the play-based school

Well, Avery got into Childpeace. I didn't think she'd get in at all, and I certainly didn't think we'd get notification so early.  It really hasn't changed anything in my mind.  While it makes it more a decision for us versus just acceptance of fate, I am quite firm in my belief that Montessori isn't the right way to go for Avery at this time.  I still strongly identify with a lot of the concepts and philosophies of Montessori, however, the things I don't like about it are strong enough to sway me in another direction.  That said, in a different situation, I could see making the choice to do Montessori. 

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Advertising for toys - girls vs. boys.

Two charts, divided by gender, showing the most common words used to market toys to children.  Guess which one is the girls' chart and which is the boys' chart.

Charts created by Wordle.

Pre-Avery, I would have been completely disgusted by this. Post-Avery, I do think there's room to merge these two a bit, but I also see the very obvious differences between boys and girls. 

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Christie's BD

And now, I am off to El Gaucho for dinner with Christie, Amber, and Stacey to celebrate Christie's BD. Perfect!  Daddy and Avery have already left to go to dinner.  Several times before she left, Avery made sure to tell me, "Don't let Eddie poop everywhere."  But then she told me it was OK if he did because I could just clean it up.  Good to know, Little One.  Good to know.

Goose

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Absurd pride

I realize that for normal people, being proud of such a thing of not taking naps and making it through a vacation seems absurd.  However, given my struggles with energy, I must admit that I'm actually quite proud that I made it through last week's vacation.  I did five days of amusement park crowds, lines, and dealing with a three-year-old.  For two of those visits, I was the sole parent.  And I didn't crash when I got home, either.  I've had a couple of naps since returning, but neither were absolutely necessary (that is, if I'd had something pressing to do, I could have done it).  While I know I would have pushed through and been able to do the same thing a few months/years ago, I would have ended up paying for it for weeks and weeks to come.  It would have exhausted me and put me behind on everything as a result.  I'm still trying to catch up on everything, but that's only because there's much to be done and when you're gone for a week, things get out of whack.  That's just the way it is.

So, yes, I do have absurd pride that I made it through a vacation and lots of fun in one piece.

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A goose who loves a man

I do not watch most videos posted by people on Facebook or sent via email.  However, I decided to watch this one.  It's such a sweet little story.

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Today

I had the G kids for much of the afternoon today because RHG had a doctor's appointment (it's a girl!)  The kids played fairly well together, so it was easy.  Now Avery has fallen asleep in the chair in the living room.  Ahh, peace and quiet.

Awake

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2:30 am and awake

I went to sleep at 8 pm tonight - after a no nap day, tyvm.  Normally, this would not be an issue.  I would just sleep through until 7:30 and all would be well.  However, tonight I woke up around 12:30 and haven't been able to get back to sleep.  Whether it's discomfort from my current cold/sinus infection/ear infection (the latter two have yet to be diagnosed by a professional, but damn, it feels that way), or if it's built up energy, I don't know.  Regardless, I'm awake and can't make too much noise, so no cleaning.  Blogging it is.  Get ready for a big ol' batch o' random. 

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Smooth

Several times, Avery has worn a dress D bought her for Christmas.  It wasn't until yesterday, as I was putting it away after laundering it, that I realized she's been wearing it with bloomers that have been hanging from a plastic fastener inside the dress all that time (not sure if bloomers is the right word - is that what the diaper/underwear covers are called?) Nice. We're observant parents here at CdT.

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Soap

I bought a soap dispenser that is motion activated for our bathroom on the main level.  It was an impulse buy, but I'm actually quite pleased with it.  You can adjust the volume of soap that comes out with each dispense.  And it means Avery can easily get soap on her hands.  Yes, she can do a pump, but our sink is such that it's actually very difficult for someone of her height to do it.  I took Stacey's route of thinking, "Is she going to go off to college and not know how to pump soap normally? No. It's OK to have this convenience."  It also means that Avery loves to wash her hands now. 

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RAD

As I've mentioned before, I find reading about kids with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) to be absolutely fascinating.  The idea that a child's brain forms differently when needs are not met during the early years in life is something that had never occurred to me before I started reading about it.  Of course, it would affect the child, but that the brain would truly form differently wasn't the way I'd thought about it.  In hindsight, that's like a "duh" realization, but there you go.  There are three simple charts here that show it in very simplistic terms.

One of the blogs I'm now reading is by a mother to a girl who has RAD.  The little girl had 28 mothers before the age of five.  If that's not a recipe for disaster, what is?  She's now with her final mother, the blogger, and is doing amazingly well.  Amazingly well with lots of therapy, and trying all sorts of various things to help the girl deal with her RAD. I can't imagine doing all this if you had more than one child (hell, I can't imagine it with just one child), but knowing the challenges some kids, and their parent(s), face because of their early years makes me far less judgmental of children and parents whose background I don't know anything about.  Less judgment is almost always a good thing.

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Weight and diet

So I lost five pounds very quickly before I even started the diet since I started eating more healthfully the week before I officially started.  Those were my fluffy pounds.  The ones that are easy to lose.  Since my goal with the diet had nothing to do with my weight and everything to do with feeling better, I decided not to get on the scale very often.  I don't weigh myself often anyway, but given a change in eating habits, I knew I would do it more often.   I weighed myself the other day.  I am still hovering at the same weight I was when I started the diet, give or take 4 pounds on any given day.  What is different is that everything has shifted.  The extra fat around my upper arms is disappearing rapidly.  The upper back fat, which was the worst for me in terms of self-consciousness, is to a point where it doesn't bother me or seem out of whack to the rest of my body.  My waist is smaller and my stomach is flatter.  The fat around my thighs is less.  My body fat percentage has dropped by about 5% points, so I guess I'm gaining muscle while losing fat.  I can also fit into my old jeans comfortably.

I assumed I'd lose weight and/or my body would change; I didn't think I'd gain so much muscle when I'm not working out.  I have been walking the dogs much more consistently, but many days it's not a trail walk (i.e. it's not strenuous), so I don't think I can even count that.  I am surprised what diet alone can do.  Any of my past attempts to lose weight have involved working out.  I'm also surprised because I am confident (without actually crunching the numbers) my calorie intake is still fairly high relative to where it should be.  It's just that where the calories are coming from is different.  1 avocado + brown rice ≅ 500 calories vs. 10 fruit rollups = 520.  Clearly, this all makes logical sense, but as with a lot of things, my perspective is changed when I analyze based on real-life experience vs knowledge without experience.

Anyway, the thing that still kind of makes me smile is that the whole time I've been on this elimination diet, I have rarely been hungry.  Hunger is my enemy.  I just don't let myself get to the point where I'm hungry.  I also haven't thought twice about eating chicken skin if I want it, or eating a whole avocado, or eating another huge serving of brown rice with my veggies.  If I want more food, I eat it.

I guess my lesson of the day, from this experience, is that I can definitely lose weight and not be hungry.  If I were working out in conjunction with my eating changes, I'm sure the weight number would be adjusting downward just as my body fat percentage is doing.  For now, since my true goal remains simply better health and energy, and I want to focus solely on those goals. I'm not going to add the lifestyle change of working out until I'm more confident in my ability to truly make an eating lifestyle change (i.e. after reintroduction of The Good Stuff and being on my own in terms of rules).  I do want to do that at some point, but not now.  One huge change at a time. It's taken me 35 years to learn that lesson, but I think I've finally got it.  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Envelopes

365

I thought about signing up to do the blogging everyday this year, but thought, "Why would I do that?  I blog everyday anyway."  Ha.  Goes to show that 2011 is the year everything will change apparently.  The lack of blogging isn't depression or anxiety or even lack of interest.  I don't know what it is.

Grace

I loved this article about grace. 

Diet (and some bitching and moaning)

It's day 12.  I'm still on track.  I'm frustrated because yesterday, after sleeping 12 hours (that is not a typo) on Saturday night, I had to take another hour nap in the morning because I was so exhausted.  My energy was just non-existent all morning.  It rebounded a bit about 7 pm, but I still went to bed exhausted last night.

I would have thought I'd be seeing big changes in my energy by now.  I'm so very frustrated that I'm not.  I think I do have more energy during my waking hours, but the need for excessive sleep is still there and things exhaust me that shouldn't given my age and (new) diet.  Seriously.  I'm pissed off about it.

Yesterday was the first day I came to breaking on the diet, and not because I was craving any sort of food, but merely out of frustration.  Lack of results is frustrating as hell.  Then, it's even worse when I start thinking about the what ifs.  What if the diet doesn't work?  What if I'm still exhausted?  What do I do then?  I've tried the Western medicine route.  After the diet, I'll have given the alternative medicine route a try.  At this point, it's all made worse because I'm not depressed right now.  That means I want to do things, but I can't.  When I'm depressed, the lack of energy is just that.  It's not something that's standing in the way of me doing things since I don't want to do anything due to the depression.  The fatigue without the depression sucks.  

Valentine's Day

I got Avery and D gifts for V-day.  We never do Valentine's Day gifts, but I thought of something, so I got them as gifts: matching official jerseys for the Timbers games.  Since D bought season tickets for he and Avery, I thought they needed matching shirts.

Crazy

The really annoying part of my fatigue is that I usually gain energy about 7 pm - midnight.  Who gets their energy then, I ask?  So, last night I decided to make Valentine's Day cards and envelopes for Avery's preschool class.

I made the envelopes out of wrapping paper.  I tried with just one sheet, but that was too thin.  So then I folded the paper in half and glued it together to make a thicker sheet.  This also means that the inside of the envelopes have the pattern, too!

I then made cards and affixed some hearts to the cards.  Now, Avery and I need to put her name on the cards, then put some stickers on the outside of the envelopes to seal them.

A few things I feel the need to note:

• Yes, I do think Avery should have participated more, however, she is just not into crafts yet.  Her attention span for crafts is less than 30 seconds.  
• Yes, I spent a ton of time doing this and no preschoolers are going to give a crap that I made them cards and envelopes.  I did it because I like to have an activity that focuses on details such that it occupies my mind almost completely.  I say almost because we were watching TV while I did all this.  
• No, the cards are not that impressive from a crafting standpoint, but I wanted to do small ones and well, it's more about the activity than the end results for me. 

Attachment

Sleep, coughing, acupuncture, blah, blah, blah

Since getting back from Mexico, there's been a steady decline in the progress I'd made.  For a while there, I wasn't napping at all during the day, nor did I need or want to.  That second part is more huge than the first part.  I slept a lot this weekend.  Worse was that my craving for sleep returned to a constant desire where I was just looking for any way to get in some sleep.  The best I can describe it is a feeling that sleep is a drug and I'm an addict.  When I'm feeling that way, I crave it.  It's just a constant craving/need that I can't shake.  Given that, I spoke with my therapist/PMHNP yesterday.  We upped my anti-depressant dosage in hopes that'll take the edge off the sleep craving and the general flatness I've been feeling for the past few weeks. 

More key to fixing the sleep obsession, I believe, is resuming weekly acupuncture.  I missed just two weeks of acupuncture treatments while I was away, but I truly believe that contributed to the backslide.  The plan right now is to continue weekly treatments through December.  In January, when the holidays are done, I'll need to circle back to taking a look at an elimination diet.  Right now, I still feel as though a complete elimination diet is not feasible for me.  However, I'll figure out the best thing when January comes around.

The acupuncture session yesterday hurt like crazy.  Once the needles are in, it's fine.  I can feel them, but it's not painful.  But those suckers going in made me wince each time.  When I did acupuncture for infertility treatments, most needles tended to go in the abdomen, legs, and arms; in other words, the fleshy areas. For the treatments I'm doing now, most of the needles go into the finger tips, toes, wrist, and ankle areas. 

I finished up my course of antibiotics and still have a cough.  Both my therapist and acupuncturist comments that I definitely didn't sound like someone who was well.  I decided to go into the doctor this afternoon to see if she thinks another round of antibiotics is in order.  I feel ridiculous going to all these appointments.  But right now, I don't care about feeling ridiculous.  I just want to feel better.  Screw it if people think I'm a hypochondriac or overly sensitive. 

Attachment Blogs

I've been reading a couple of blogs written by adoptive parents of children with attachment disorders.  Watching the Waters is written by a woman who, with her husband, adopted several children from Haiti (pre-earthquake).  The other blog, Millions of Miles, is by a woman who, with her husband, adopted a boy from the Congo.  Both families have biological children, as well.

From reading these two blogs, I have realized I am in no way cut out to parent a child with attachment disorders.  It's kind of a moot point to realize since I am very firmly set in the camp that we'll only have one child.  The daily struggles in dealing with children with PTSD or attachment problems are mind boggling.  I can only imagine the patience and strength it must take to keep plodding onward in the face of seemingly constant setbacks and brickwalls.  Nonetheless, I do find the topic absolutely fascinating.  Millions of Miles wrote this post recently about what exactly happens in toddler attachment therapy.  Another post covered how PTSD rears its ugly head when they have to take Miles to the doctor or hospital.

Watching the Waters also has some very interesting posts about her experiences raising children with attachment problems.  The family is actively searching for another home for one of their adopted children.  It's not safe to keep him in the house with the other younger children since the family discovered he was sexually assaulting some of the other children.  He's currently 9.5 years old.  The assault(s) came to be known about 2 or more years ago from what I can piece together.  I can only imagine what must have happened in the years he was in an orphanage to result in a child being capable of doing something like that.

Orgasm

Orgasm in a brown package

I very nearly had an orgasm when I got the mail today.  That's right, I ordered a little something just for me.  I ordered it off the Internet.  It arrived wrapped in a plain, brown package.  I waited until I was alone so I could really enjoy opening it up and imagining how wonderful it's going to make my life.  That's right, you guessed it, I got my first ... pair of sand socks!  Did you know that beach volleyball players sometimes wear sand socks?  They are special socks designed to, wait for it ... this is good ... designed to keep sand OFF YOUR FEET!  Jackpot!  I bought the nude color and the split toe, so I can wear flip flops with them. 

I also bought myself a swim skort.  Yeah, you heard me right. A swim skort.  Between my sun hat, my long sleeved zip-up jacket, my new swim skorts, and my water-friendly sand socks, Avery has only a couple more years of obliviousness before she insists that only Dad should take her to the beach.  We bumped into a fellow homeowner at the airport whom we met for drinks once while in Vegas, but don't know all that well.  As we were chit chatting in line, I said something about how I just try to keep covered up from the sun.  She said, "Yes, you wear that long sleeved yellow jacket in the water, right?"  Good to know I make a lasting impression.

I do find it a bit amusing that I have absolutely no issue walking around our community in Mexico looking like what can only be described as the ultimate dork, complete with not one piece of attire matching another and all of it picked only for functionality and none for attractiveness, yet I grew up mortified by the fact that my father walked around in red sweats held up with rainbow suspenders.  It was functional, Dad, I'll give you that.  Hey, at least Avery only has to put up with my "functional" outfits while we're in Mexico! 

Recycler class

I have been wanting to take this master recycler class for several years now.  It's being offered again in January and February.  There's not a guarantee I'll get in even if I apply since they do a lottery and only let 30 people in.  It's a popular class.  My hesitation to apply comes from the fact that you have to commit to attending all classes, both field trips, and to doing 30 hours of volunteer work. What if it's like the woodworking class and I have to stand the whole time?  I've truly gotten spoiled by my SAHM flexibility where I choose exactly what I want to do and rarely have to make solid commitments that can't be juggled.  I'm leaning towards applying and letting fate decide if I am meant to do it.

Heartburn

Heartburn has become a daily occurrence in the past week.  I'm not even sure it's heartburn.  It's like my stomach is on fire.  It happens when I eat healthfully (salmon, peas, brown rice) and it happens when I eat horribly.  It sometimes doesn't hit until a few hours after eating; other times, it's almost immediate.  Of course, the coughing makes it worse.  Much, much worse.  I will go back to the doctor the moment my antibiotic prescription is finished if this doesn't clear up.  It was so bad tonight that I threw up.  Threw up, people!

My cough is somewhat better, but in a way worse.  It's much less of a constant throat clearing type cough.  Now I can hear and feel it in my lungs and my breathing until I get it cleared out.  Like a sort of wheezing, but only once in a while when it catches.

The good part of all this is that I think all this sickness has made me realize that I need to not take my health for granted.  Hopefully I'll start to make changes towards healthier eating and a more active lifestyle.  No drastic changes since those rarely stick, but making better choices bit by bit.  That's the goal. 

Mixed Feelings

Surely any of my FB friends will have seen someone post a link to this blog post about this 5-year-old boy who dressed up as Daphne for Halloween.  It's spreading like wildfire.  It seems the type of post that I would normally cheer.  But for some reason I can't quite get there.  D even commented on the post (there are currently 38,000+ comments since this post has gone viral) defending the mother.  He basically said that what the mother did was show her son that she's got his back, no matter what.  Granted, D said it much more thoughtfully.  I would link to D's comment, but I'd have to sort through over 600 pages of comments to find it and I'm not up for that.

Anyway, I've been trying to put my finger on the reason I'm not jumping on the bandwagon.  I think it's that the post doesn't feel genuine to me.  To be clear, I have no problem whatsoever with letting a boy dress as a girl.  I have no problem with a parent letting a boy do this.  I have no problem if this kid is gay.  Basically, insert all typical liberal positions here and that's me.  However, ...

Problem #1 - Sensational, misleading headline
She posted a picture of her son, labeled him gay, stuck it out there for all to see.  Yet the post had absolutely nothing to do with him being gay.  It's just about him wanting to wear a Daphne costume, then not wanting to wear it, then about how the other mothers had a problem with the author. 

Problem #2 - Implausible lack of insight
She didn't think that anyone would make fun of a 5-year-old boy dressed as a girl?  Seriously?  Kids start talking about boy colors and girl colors at 2 and 3.  I find it very hard to believe that any woman raised in this country under average circumstances (i.e. not in some commune or something like that) wouldn't know that her son would probably get some guff for showing up at school wearing that costume.  It doesn't make it right that he'd get guff, but come on, you've got to know it's probably going to happen.

Problem #3 - Identifying his school as Christian
Far be it from me to defend religion, but, well damn it, here it goes.  The outcome of this would have been no different, in my opinion, had this been a non-religious school.  If she is trying to make a point of the lack of tolerance at a Christian school, then why is her son going there?  And I also can't buy that she might have thought that because it is a Christian school, all kids and parents would be so very accepting of a boy wearing a Daphne costume.  Christians, from my observations, know there are tolerant Christians and there are intolerant Christians.

Problem #4 - She convinced him to do it
So on this point, I'm a little wishy washy.  I could probably be persuaded to be OK with this, but then I'd flop back.  In fact, I was momentarily swayed this afternoon when D wrote his comment on the matter.  However, ultimately, it seems the kid decided he didn't want to be Daphne because he was afraid kids would make fun of him.  On the one hand, talking him through it and then supporting him is great.  He does, in that instance, get to see that his mother has his back no matter what.  However, she didn't talk him through it.  According to her, she blew off his concern, his instinct, and said people would like it because it was "cute and clever."  Um, did she never interact with other kids when she was that age?  Kids make fun of kids for any little thing that makes them different.  And I don't think the majority of kids that age recognize clever as a quality in a Halloween costume. 

All of this doesn't mean her son should change who he is just because others might laugh, but blowing off his concerns as if they're not plausible doesn't seem the ideal move to me.

Problem #5 - This post is really about her, not her son
It's not a problem that she did a post that is about her (yes, I do know my blog is all about me, me, me), but rather that she used her son to sensationalize the situation and her rant.  It feels like she is using this child and his costume choice to get on her soapbox. 

Of course, I doubt she knew this post would go viral.  Once that happened, she obviously had the choice to either leave it up and stand her ground, or back down.  It's a good lesson to show her children she will stand her ground ... but it's still her kid she posted online, with a giant label that may or may not be true, and that label shouldn't be a bad thing, but damn, it's kind of setting him up for all kids of shit for years to come.  And, of course, she probably didn't think people were going to analyze her post line by line.  Perhaps this is ultimately a lesson in sharing too much online.  Or maybe the power of sharing online?  I don't know.  Like I said, I've got mixed feelings on this one.

Receipts

BPA and receipts

Apparently BPA is often used in the paper used for receipts because it brings out the black print without the need for ink.  Excerpt from this post on Enviroblog:

Now a new, federally funded, multi-year study is confirming our concerns about BPA in receipts. More than 380 pregnant women from the Cincinnati area had their urine tested for BPA at three points during pregnancies and at birth, and the results are troubling. Women in the study who worked at a register had an average of 55 percent more BPA in their urine than those employed as teachers. Many register receipts are coated with BPA, which brings out the black print without the need for ink.

While I don't obsess about BPA exposure, 55% higher seems so out of whack. 

Gay Sex vs. Straight Sex

The title sounds very, very dirty.  However, this post is really just an analysis of the 3.2 million OKCupid users and how they describe themselves and their habits. It's fascinating which sterotypes stand-up against the data (gay men love The Devil Wears Prada and Brittany Spears) and which ones don't (gay people are not out to convert straights nor are they any more promiscuous than straights).

I also love the map showing which geographies are more gay curious.  Oregon is super gay curious, as is Canada.  Mississippi not so much.  Duh.

TV Update

A couple of weeks ago, I gave my opinion of the onslaught of new fall TV shows.  Watching the pilots is really only the first step in my process of adopting new shows to watch.  The next step is natural attrition, either because they are canceled or because I just don't feel like watching them.  When I have backlogged episodes sitting on the TiVo, yet don't feel compelled to press play, those don't make the cut.

Anyway, of the ten I listed and did not immediately rule out, I am watching four: Mike & Molly, The Event, Running Wilde, $*#! My Dad Says.  I do also like Raising Hope, but haven't watched more than the first two episodes.