Attachment

Sleep, coughing, acupuncture, blah, blah, blah

Since getting back from Mexico, there's been a steady decline in the progress I'd made.  For a while there, I wasn't napping at all during the day, nor did I need or want to.  That second part is more huge than the first part.  I slept a lot this weekend.  Worse was that my craving for sleep returned to a constant desire where I was just looking for any way to get in some sleep.  The best I can describe it is a feeling that sleep is a drug and I'm an addict.  When I'm feeling that way, I crave it.  It's just a constant craving/need that I can't shake.  Given that, I spoke with my therapist/PMHNP yesterday.  We upped my anti-depressant dosage in hopes that'll take the edge off the sleep craving and the general flatness I've been feeling for the past few weeks. 

More key to fixing the sleep obsession, I believe, is resuming weekly acupuncture.  I missed just two weeks of acupuncture treatments while I was away, but I truly believe that contributed to the backslide.  The plan right now is to continue weekly treatments through December.  In January, when the holidays are done, I'll need to circle back to taking a look at an elimination diet.  Right now, I still feel as though a complete elimination diet is not feasible for me.  However, I'll figure out the best thing when January comes around.

The acupuncture session yesterday hurt like crazy.  Once the needles are in, it's fine.  I can feel them, but it's not painful.  But those suckers going in made me wince each time.  When I did acupuncture for infertility treatments, most needles tended to go in the abdomen, legs, and arms; in other words, the fleshy areas. For the treatments I'm doing now, most of the needles go into the finger tips, toes, wrist, and ankle areas. 

I finished up my course of antibiotics and still have a cough.  Both my therapist and acupuncturist comments that I definitely didn't sound like someone who was well.  I decided to go into the doctor this afternoon to see if she thinks another round of antibiotics is in order.  I feel ridiculous going to all these appointments.  But right now, I don't care about feeling ridiculous.  I just want to feel better.  Screw it if people think I'm a hypochondriac or overly sensitive. 

Attachment Blogs

I've been reading a couple of blogs written by adoptive parents of children with attachment disorders.  Watching the Waters is written by a woman who, with her husband, adopted several children from Haiti (pre-earthquake).  The other blog, Millions of Miles, is by a woman who, with her husband, adopted a boy from the Congo.  Both families have biological children, as well.

From reading these two blogs, I have realized I am in no way cut out to parent a child with attachment disorders.  It's kind of a moot point to realize since I am very firmly set in the camp that we'll only have one child.  The daily struggles in dealing with children with PTSD or attachment problems are mind boggling.  I can only imagine the patience and strength it must take to keep plodding onward in the face of seemingly constant setbacks and brickwalls.  Nonetheless, I do find the topic absolutely fascinating.  Millions of Miles wrote this post recently about what exactly happens in toddler attachment therapy.  Another post covered how PTSD rears its ugly head when they have to take Miles to the doctor or hospital.

Watching the Waters also has some very interesting posts about her experiences raising children with attachment problems.  The family is actively searching for another home for one of their adopted children.  It's not safe to keep him in the house with the other younger children since the family discovered he was sexually assaulting some of the other children.  He's currently 9.5 years old.  The assault(s) came to be known about 2 or more years ago from what I can piece together.  I can only imagine what must have happened in the years he was in an orphanage to result in a child being capable of doing something like that.