Goober Outfits

We get a lot of catalogs. Far too many. The other day we got one called Magellan's which contains a lot of travel supplies. Some look pretty handy. Others just scream out "Outfit for Goobers!" Take, for instance, the bug guard outfit to the left. Can you imagine going on vacation in a really buggy climate and walking around in this? What better way to blend in with the locals than to don this jewel of fashion? I saw this and it just made me bust out laughing. I can just picture all these normal tourists on some safari with their khaki shorts, pressed shirts and pasty white skin already looking out of place, and then me coming out wearing this get-up. I guess that's why I'm so struck by it: I can actually picture myself putting this on if the bugs were really bad, which is why I will never order it. Normal people would never even consider it no matter how bad the bugs were. I know myself too well. I would.

Another goober outfit I came across recently was posted in someone else's blog: The Man Cape. This is a real company that apparently specializes in making capes. They actually call it a Men's Alpaca Serape. I love D, but I'm not sure our marriage would be strong enough to survive him walking around wearing this. On the other hand, the women's capes look quite warm and you know I'm always so cold...

And finally, this one is not so much a goober outfit as much as it is a demonstration that catalog editors themselves are complete goobers. Below is a page scanned directly from the Victoria's Secret catalog. It's for their patent pending (!), rear-enhancing technology. Does anyone find this woman's shape attractive? She has absolutely no butt and, with the jeans on, it has completely flattened out the butt. If you're advertising jeans to make your butt look better, higher, whatever, shouldn't you find a model with an actual butt to manipulate? The other problem I have with this is that if it's such great technology, they need to show a body that actually needs slimming of the tummy and thighs. If you stick a pair of jeans on a stick, technology or no technology, she's still going to be a stick.