Here I sit ... at 12:11 AM. I tried to sleep, but nothing. I blame it on the 14 M&M's and 4 Whoppers I ate around 8:30 PM. What really sucks is that today was the first day in a while that I haven't slept in late or gone back to sleep after getting up, so it seems I should be tired, but I'm not. Damn caffeine.
It seems an appropriate time to describe one of my quirkier afflictions: I'm terrified that D will die in his sleep.
First, let me back up and describe to everyone the biggest issue in our marriage: how we fall asleep. D insists that he needs the TV on in order to fall asleep. He can fall asleep while reading a book, but he strongly prefers the TV. I, on the other hand, like it to be completely dark and quiet and then I just will myself to go to sleep (tonight being a rare exception because I stupidly had caffeine in the evening). Anyway, to make matters worse, I also cannot stand the noise of the TV and the TiVo even when they're off. Therefore, every night, I wait for D to finally fall asleep, then I get up, turn off the TV, then shut the doors to the armoire that encases them. When I'm tired, this really pisses me off because I just have to wait it out for D to fall asleep. Sometimes, he'll be snoring, I get up and he wakes up at that moment and says frantically, "I'm still awake," to which I typically retort, "No, you were snoring. Go back to sleep." Back when I was working, I would insist that he only do this falling asleep to the TV thing on the weekends and then every other night on weeknights. Since I am not working now and can catnap during the day, or sleep in, it's not so much an issue.
Where was I? Oh, yes: fear of D dying in his sleep. Since I'm almost always the second one to sleep, I know the sounds of D's sleeping very well. He snores most of the time. Loudly. But, get this, I actually like when he snores. Know why? Because I know he's alive. If he's too quiet, I start to panic. I lean in and make sure I see him breathing. Then, if I can't hear or see any movement, I poke him to make sure he's warm and breathing. I'd say this wakes him up a good 50% of the time, if not more. He's well aware of the fact I do it since I am waking him up. I know I shouldn't do it; after all, I do believe that sleep is pretty much sacred. But I can't help it. I just have to make sure he's all right.
So there you go. I'm a poker.
You should try the compact mirror under the nostrils trick. From first hand experience, this is handy if you are neurotic and have a baby. Or, a flat palm on a bare chest to feel the rise/fall (prob'ly works better on babies with small chests). Not that I'm neurotic or anything ;)
ReplyDeletewait, so you wake d up every other night just as he falls asleep? yes, i would definitively qualify that as a "marriage issue". oh how i admire d right now! ;)
ReplyDelete