Yesterday, I needed to drop off a box at a Postal Annex store. I got a parking space directly in front of the store and there were no other cars near us. I just needed to run into the store, drop off the package with no payment necessary, and leave. So the question in my head was, "Is it OK to lock Avery in the car and run inside to drop off the box." The temperature was clearly nothing to worry about in either direction, I knew I wouldn't get caught in line waiting to pay, and it was in a not-very-populated area. I didn't know what the law said about it, so I took her out of her car seat, carried 10' inside, dropped off the box, then carried her back out to the car and put her back in the car seat.
Today, I saw
this post discussing the topic, and which posted the Oregon laws related to this:
"A person having custody or control of a child under 10 years of age commits the crime of child neglect in the second degree if, with criminal negligence, the person leaves the child unattended in or at any place for such period of time as may be likely to endanger the health or welfare of such child."
After reading that, and given that the set of circumstances were very low risk, I think I would have left her in the (locked) car while I ran in to drop off the box. What do you think? Would you take the baby or leave the baby in the car in this situation?
I would definitely take her in and would not leave her in the car for even a very short time. "It is better to be safe than to be sorry" Things can happen so fast.
ReplyDeletemom
I have been tempted a zillion times to "just run in" but I've never done it and never will - just wouldn't take the risk because I couldn't live with myself if something happened.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I have to admit when Reese was little I would sometimes leave her in the car in the garage while unloading groceries. I still felt a little paranoid about it and made sure the garage door was down and the car was locked.
I suppose, thinking about it more, the odds of me ever leaving her in the car - even in the exact same circumstances - are slim. However, it's not because I think it's unsafe or a great risk (and again, I mean in the exact situation I was in - I can think of a number of variables that would shift this into a zone of discomfort for me). In fact, I think in the situation I was in, it was probably statistically safer to leave her in the locked car for the 45 seconds I was in the store, than to get her out of the car, risk dropping her whilst trying to pick up the box, again risk dropping her whilst trying to open the door and hold the box and her, and then go back outside again.
ReplyDeleteSo, given that I honestly believe she was at more risk to injury by me taking her into the store than would have been had I left her in the car for those 45 seconds, why is it that I might still choose to bring her inside? Simple. If something had happened in either scenario, I am positive that I would be judged more harshly by society for having chosen to do something that our culture deems an unacceptable risk. So, does this make me a bad mother that I would choose to bring her inside despite what my instincts tell me would be the greater risk?
Things that make me wonder:
* 20.58% of all child deaths in the US occur in motor vehicles (presumably most of them moving). Knowing this statistic, is it irresponsible to take your child to pick someone up at the airport if you can just as easily leave your child at home with your spouse? We've taken her when we could have left her home. Isn't exposing your child to that greater risk something you wouldn't want to risk? Particularly when the child would see the person being picked up later in the day?
* I'm sure there is some variance in the way the stats are measured in the US vs UK, but in the UK, only 7.7% of deaths for children in 2003 were land transport accidents. I would presume this is because they use mass transportation more frequently, and do a lot more walking. So, if its true that motor vehicle deaths decrease when you walk more ... if you have a park, let's say within 2 miles of your house, but you choose to drive, are you making an unsafe decision for your child? What if you drive your child to school vs. letting him/her ride the school bus (which is presumably safer)?
* Flying is statistically far safer than driving. If you can afford to fly, are you being irresponsible by choosing to drive your child to your destination? You can clearly make a safer choice for your child.
* If a baby device (Bumbo, swing, bouncy chair) has any known injuries associated with it, why are those considered acceptable risks by (most of) society? Those are basically convenience items for parents, as is leaving a baby in a temperature-safe, locked car within 10 feet of a parent. You can just as easily not use a swing as you can not leave the child in the car for 10 seconds.
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All this said, yep, I'll reverse my statement and I will probably again take her in next time. But I maintain that I believe it's actually a less safe, albeit more culturally acceptable, option.
And I should also note, that I appreciate Vy and Mom's comments! I am not not saying you two are wrong. I think a vast majority would agree with your assessment of the situation, and with what I actually did.
ReplyDeleteI just find our obsession with safety rather interesting. To me, it seems we often don't consider the risk in the everyday things we do that we consider to be necessary parts of life, but apply uber safety rules to statistically less likely events because we've heard such horror stories on the news. Maybe we should attack the larger percentage culprits?
Clearly, in the end, we all just want to keep our babies safe and sound, so maybe it's a moot discussion.
I think you can't evaluate only the probability of something unsafe occurring, but must consider also the severity of the outcome. For driving in general (ignoring children and carseats): You are a lot more _likely_ to have a collision accident driving on city streets, than when driving on the highway. But the highway accident is FAR worse in severity with the impact speeds. That's why when I learned to drive, my dad didn't want me to drive on the highway at first. :)
ReplyDeleteOn the whole flying vs driving thing, I've often considered that statistic too, as we actually like to do road trips, not to mention financially it does help. I think that for airplane trips, it still involves driving to and from airports, so it's not a pure comparison of flying vs driving. Populated areas (such as going through a city to the airport) are where most accidents happen. So when you consider that, I don't know that the difference in statistics would be so vast (definitely still a gap in safety, but a smaller gap).
Basically, I just try to do the safe thing if the statistics are overwhelming (e.g. car safety, crib safety), or if it's a simple thing for me to control (e.g. avoiding bpa bottles). It's so easy to get caught up in all these decisions. Luckily all my years of poker have drilled this into me: make the best decision you can with the information that you have, and then move on.
I can find a poker analogy for anything. I dare you to challenge me. :)
Interesting points. For me, a big part of parenting is doing what *feels right* after digesting all the information I'm bombarded with. That's not to say that someone taking different actions is wrong, I just have to go with my gut.
ReplyDeleteEven though it could be argued that statistically it would have sometimes been safer to have left Reese in the car, to me it would not have "felt right" because she would have been out of my sight and therefore, I wouldn't have been able to control the situation. I've had my parked car hit twice, and my mother's parked car was hit by a drunk driver a few months ago while we were having dinner. It's those sort of statistically improbable but unlucky things that scare me.
And I would still use a Bumbo, but I would not leave my baby unattended on a tabletop in one, KWIM? Same "being able to control the situation" concept.
Thanks for the good discussion point!
I have to admit I've left A. in the car once to run in and grab an item but the car was always in sight. She had fallen asleep and the idea of waking her (she was in a convertible carseat by then) was too much. I'm generally more afraid of someone calling me out than the fear of something actually happening in most cases. I guess I generally run the very fast errands on the way home from work when I don't have the kid so I haven't been tempted as often.
ReplyDeleteI have left her in car in the garage several times if she falls asleep in the car. We just put a phone in there to hear her and there's a thermometer on the window that shows the temp (not that I would ever consider leaving her in the car if I knew it was hot or super cold).
Of course the garage is attached and next to the kitchen and the dogs would throw a fit if someone came within 10 feet of the house.
Actually just about 3-4 days ago, I also left Elise asleep in her seat in the car, in the attached garage, with the door open (both car door and garage door to the house). I didn't even think twice about it.
ReplyDeleteagree with vy about going with what feels right. in the bevy of over-information, some things ring true for me more than others. I guess that's how I decide what to go with and what not. It makes sense to me to not put a baby in the bumbo perched on a table. It doesn't make sense to me to not hang my bag on the back of the stroller (this is also a safety "no no" because the stroller can tip). So if it sounds good to me, I do it, and otherwise I just Know the warning but choose to ignore it. :)
"I'm generally more afraid of someone calling me out than the fear of something actually happening in most cases."
ReplyDeleteAmongst my fears of the car being crashed into and psycho baby-nabber stealing my daughter is being called out for being a "bad mom", lol.
The thing is, if I saw a baby unattended in car, I'd at the very least stand by the car to make sure the baby was okay until the parent came out and depending on the situation (heat, etc), might be tempted to call the police. I'd hate to be on the other end of my high-and-mighty self, lol.
I worry about this, too, but definitely more out of fear of what others would say than any real fear something bad will happen. I often leave Henry in the car to go and retrieve something from our condo (usually the baby sling or diaper bag). Henry is always locked into his seat and I always lock the car doors as well. The underground parking is also closed and locked, unless you live here and have the key.
ReplyDeleteAm I being negligent if I leave my kid in the car while I jump out to return movies to the movie slot on the side of the building? I don't think so.
What's interesting is that the law doesn't spell things out. "You are criminally negligent if the child is unattended for this specific amount of time," or "You are criminally negligent if you give your child a knife to play with."
Of course, I realize as I type this that because my baby is unattended in the bedroom, I am currently being criminally negligent by Oregon's definition.