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TV Reduction: Officially declaring this a success

Avery hasn't had any of her angry or irrational child moments during the night since we but the TV watching back to a mere 30 minutes per day, usually watched in the morning.  We did let her watch Michael Jackson's This Is It on Saturday, but that didn't impact anything, so I think we're good to let her watch the occassional movie, but that it's best to limit TV for Avery.

Thinking back, before we started to let Avery watch TV when she was about 18-months-old (maybe a little earlier - I can't remember exactly and don't want to look it up), I remember thinking that I could easily make it until 2 yo or 3 yo without letting her watch (serious) amounts of TV.  Once I opened the flood gate of letting her watch a little, the time she spent watching TV crept slowly upwards until we leveled out around 2-3 hours per day, which was usually not all at once, but sometimes it was since she'd watch a whole movie.  Anyway, once that started to happen, I started to think that I was crazy to have thought I could have made it to 2 or 3 yo.  Well, now that we're at a smaller amount per day, I find myself thinking that I could have done it.  I could even cut it out completely right now if I felt that the 30 minutes was doing harm (clearly I don't; in fact, I think she learns quite a bit from watching Dinosaur Train in the mornings).  It's amazing how much easier some things are than you build them up to be in your mind.  All that said, I'm so happy for those 30 minutes in the morning.  After I fix Avery breakfast, all I want to do is sit in front of my computer and eat breakfast alone.  All alone.  30 minutes is enough time for me to clear my head and get the space I really, really need in the mornings.

Fits, fits, and more fits

So the lack of TV, as noted above, has eliminated the incidents of night-time angry child.  However, she's still having these seemingly out of the blue fits.  I characterize these as different from tantrums because, while they are often triggered by me saying no, they quickly morph into something that is not quite tantrum-like about them. 

For example, when my dad was here, he got to witness a very strange one.  Avery was happy as a clam going into the car seat and as we drove away.  However, at some point in the ride, she decided that she wanted out of the car seat.  She started crying.  Crying in her car seat is now extremely rare, especially when she starts well after we've started driving. In fact, I can't remember the last time it happened.  It made me wonder if something was pinching since it ramped up into a panicked cry quickly, so I pulled over on the side of the road and checked on her.  She just kept insisting she wanted out.  Clearly I couldn't let her out of the car seat, so I told her we were almost home and continued on our way.  When we got home, she came into the house and then proceeded to have the fit wherein she wants everything and nothing at the same time.  She wanted uppy, but when I'd go to pick her up she'd withdraw her arms and fold into clam shell; she initially asked for milk, but when I gave her the cup, she just kept saying, "I no want milk!" and pushed the cup far away from her; she wanted me to be close, but didn't want me to walk in her space.  She was this way for maybe 15 minutes, until I finally asked a question to which she answered yes (things she answered no to included do you want milk? do you want to watch TV?  do you ...)  Finally, I asked if she wanted some of a cookie, a question I'd asked before and to which she'd said no.  She said yes and slowly snapped out of this mode and went back to her usual self.  It's all very weird.  I am coming to realize that I don't categorize these as tantrums.  She has tantrums and those are typically because she wants something I say no to.  However, those blow over relatively fast and they're not so strange.

A more typical tantrum would be today's lovely fit after we left school.  We were there for a short time to meet the teacher and turn in paperwork.  Avery did not want to leave, but I eventually prodded her away from the classroom without a scene (thank goodness!)  On the way out, she refused to hold my hand while we were walking on the sidewalk.  While I will allow her to walk on sidewalks without holding my hand sometimes, she was in such a bold mood that I couldn't let her walk without holding my hand, so I explained this.  I do this all the time: give her a choice of holding my hand or me carrying her.  90% of the time she just grabs my hand and carries on her merry way.  This time, she completely melted down crying, "I do it! I walk!"  I eventually had to scoop her up and carry her literally kicking and screaming to the car where we sat in the car (after I was able to maneuver her in, which took some doing) for about 20 minutes.  I finally had to use physically force her into the car seat, which was only possible because I surprised her and was able to get the straps on quickly enough that she couldn't squirm away.  This episode was more in line with a typical tantrum.  I tried offering choices and that didn't work since she'd just say no to each separate choice.  I tried using a lure of TV at home as a bribe to no avail.  I tried tricking her by asking, "Do you want to get in your car seat with your coat on or off?" (off?! ha! you agreed to go in the car seat) - that didn't work since she just said, "I don't want to get in the car seat!"

I blog these mostly so I have a record of when things happened for the future, but if anyone happens to have a child who did the same and has an idea, let me know!  These fits are certainly not daily, but I'd say we're averaging weekly now, so I would be happy to hear anyone's suggestions.  The only thing you need to know is that overpowering her into her car seat is simply not possible most of the time.