separation

A rare non-weekly-update post with unfortunate news. As my close friends and family know, Damian and I have separated. Some (blog-appropriate) details:

• In mid-February, Damian told me he was moving out. In early March, he moved into an apartment in the Pearl District. 
• I still hope to reconcile; I can't speak for Damian.
• Avery is doing as well as can be expected. There's been no arguing in front of her, either before or after the separation. We are doing weekly therapy sessions in rotating combinations each week (therapist & Avery alone; therapist & Avery & me; therapist & Avery & Damian; therapist & Damian & me).
• Things are still amicable between us a vast majority of the time. 
• I'm doing much better than in February & March. Both were really, really rough for me. Leaning on my friends and Mom big time for support kind of rough. April is tough, of course, but I am getting stronger and stronger. 

As a result of all this, D and I have decided to sell the house. Even if things do work out between us, neither of us want to live in this house or neighborhood. This I am sure of. So I'm hoping to have the house ready to be put on the market in early May. There are some major items being done as a result of the water damage from the washing machine malfunction/breakage. The hardwoods on the main level are all be sanded and stained; the ceiling in the living room and kitchen is being skimmed and retextured because there's a hold in the drywall from the dry out of the leak; carpeting is being replaced in the living room, the upstairs hallway and stairs, and one bedroom. Hopefully the hardwoods and ceiling will be done while I'm on vacation next week. 

I've put an offer that's been accepted on a town home in the Alphabet District (still need to go through inspection and appraisal). It's teeny tiny and I'm thrilled with this. While I hate the separation and would do almost anything to stop it, I am very happy to be moving. And very excited about this new place. I'm going from 4,000 sq. ft to 1,267 sq. ft. A 3 car garage to street parking. A backyard for Abbie to no private outdoor space for her (however, it's within walking distance of two parks, one with an off leash dog park, so I'm not too worried about her exercise level between potty breaks and regular walks & dog park visits). It's going to be a big change, but unlike the separation, this is one change I fully embrace and am driving. 

Anyway, the main reason for announcing this on the blog is that don't like keeping things in. I believe it just putting it all out there and dealing with it. It's the way I deal best with difficult things. Well, all things, but especially difficult things. This is, without a doubt, the most painful and difficult time of my life. The pain is unbelievable some days. But like I said earlier, I'm getting stronger and stronger. If this has done anything for me, it's to make me see my true character. I am proud of the way I'm handling this for Avery's sake and for the sake of being true to who I want to be. As someone said to me, when you're going through hell, keep going. Onward.