week(14) 2013

week 14, March 31 - April 6

random

It worked! My paperless transition and scanning and filing method worked! And it was way more efficient than if I'd had to find the paper. When the washing machine malfunctioned causing the water damage, I wanted to see if this sort of thing would be an exclusion in our policy (it's not - whew), so I typed a few key words into my search box and it immediately found our insurance policy. It didn't find it based on the file name, but rather by searching the contents of the PDF because I OCR'd all the documents. Yes, I'm very pleased with myself. 

depression ...
... or should I say lack of depression? The past 7 + days have been quite good, both relative to my current situation and overall. The most important factors to this change:

• mindfulness; redirecting thoughts into the present; staying out of the past and the future; meditation
• medication
• exercise
• lack of excessive added sugar

That's the list of things I'm very confident have a direct impact on my current mood, as well as staving off - or at least minimizing or shortening the length of - future depressive episodes*. Changes I've made that I'm not overly confident sway the depression one way or the other, but that I think are good changes:

• regular sleep schedule. I'm not sleeping even close to through the night at the moment, but I know from past experience that this could very well just be because a habit has built up of waking every hour or so. Nonetheless, even with restless sleep, I think the regular schedule works for me.
• cutting out Diet Coke. This means I don't drink any pop/soda because I mostly drank Diet Coke. I know this directly affects my sugar intake since when I drink Diet Coke, tend to eat less healthy (i.e. more sugary) things. 

* I have a whopping sample size of 1 to say this, but it was a stark difference from usual, so I'm going to optimistically assume this minimizing/shortening will prove true in the future.

********
I had one bad 1/2 day this week, however, everyone has bad days, particularly when life is stressful. This is one aspect of my "manage my depression better!" campaign that frustrates me. How to differentiate between normal and not normal. My therapist says it doesn't matter, and I'm quite sure that's what my depression book is saying too. What you're feeling is what you're feeling. Feel it. Gah. I still wish there were some test I could take that would definitively show that depression is real and that some people are simply more prone to it than others. I love literal gray; I hate figurative gray.

exercise

My walk/runs with Abbie are still going well. Somedays are tricky to fit it into the schedule. The run itself isn't long, but I have to consider where I'm going afterward (i.e. will I need to shower immediately?) and where Avery is.

The current snag with the runs is that my left foot/ankle is really hurting. It's the ankle I injured in HS rock climbing (that sounds really bad ass, but I fell after scaling maybe 10 feet - too much slack in the rope and I sprained my ankle). The top and outer edge of my foot hurts along with the ankle. I've noticed that it's not too bad getting up the big hill, but once I start any descent - even minor ones - my foot immediately hurts. My plan is to look up and do strengthening exercises for ankles and feet, eliminate all downhill running from my walk/run. If this has no effect after a week or two, or if the pain gets significantly worse, I'll go to the doctor. What I do not want to happen is a complete break from the big uphill run. I hate it at the bottom, but I love it at the top. Plus, I've developed some pretty good thigh muscles. And I fit into my old clothes. Not the old, old clothes when I was quite small, but the ones I was wearing several years ago. I'll take it. --- Wednesday

I tried running only the flat & uphill parts. That works much better. I still have pain, but it's not the kind where I think I should really not be doing this. --- Saturday

Abbie

Abbie had her first of five boarding school days yesterday.  I think it went great. She was tired afterward (always a good thing). And the trainer said she was one of the best German Shepherds she'd ever worked with. Great temperament, great with other dogs, not at all aggressive, a bit on the shy side, but not too much to worry about. She seemed better yesterday afternoon, but I'm quite sure that was the tiredness. We'll see how the other sessions affect her.  --- Friday

I'm sure this is just me convincing myself that the money is worth it, but Abbie does seem better able to settle herself down near me. And she doesn't freak out quite so much when I leave her sight. For example, when I go into the garage and close the door behind me, she's always scratched at the door trying to open it (twice resulting in locking me out). I tried this a few times yesterday (because Barkley is here for the weekend and the dogs have had a few scuffles) and she didn't jump up on the door once. Again, not a big enough sample size to truly know anything, but it's better than nothing. --- Saturday