Mother's Day Summary
- First, they apparently call it "mothering day" in England. I like that term better than Mother's Day.
- Saturday: flowers arrived - thank you D!
- Sunday: Slept in
- Attempted to go out for sushi for lunch. Avery was in no mood to cooperate with anything, so I proposed she and I take a nap together instead; she accepted the offer.
- Ate lunch at 2 PM via the Arby's drive through (I didn't eat the bun, which meant I literally just ate meat for lunch - weird).
- Met Stacey and her kids, Maddie & Riley, for African Cats
- Headed home to meet up with Stacey & kids, where we made dinner and dessert. Avery LOVED playing with Maddie and Riley. Mostly Maddie, who is very similar to Avery in a number of ways.
- Spent the rest of the evening lounging and reading.
Swimming
Avery has started with swimming lessons again. I have decided I'm going to buy her prescription swim goggles. I think it'll make her less hesitant to put her head underwater. She has an appointment with her eye doctor on Wednesday, so I'll make sure her prescription hasn't changed at that appointment and then move ahead with the purchase. I'm surprised they're so cheap: $30. Given how much glasses cost, I figured they'd be more than that.
Funk
I'm still in a bit of a funk. It doesn't feel like a depression or anything like that. I'm distracted and just having trouble getting back in my groove. Distracted by a number of things, Eddie included. I've just scheduled an appointment with the vet to assess how much pain he's in. I hadn't done this earlier because it seems somewhat pointless to pay more money to have a vet confirm what I know: he's in pain. But I can't really wrap my mind around making a decision (D has to make his own, and the ultimate decision) about when the time is right without having a more objective person provide some input.
I suppose, thinking about it, Eddie probably does have quite a bit to do with my funk. I am tired of dealing with the old age problems, but also I feel guilty. I feel badly that I can't find it in me to be more patient with him as he ages. I am sad that the end is so drawn out that I have trouble remembering the times when he was younger and happier and healthier. And I get worried about how we're going to deal with this with Avery. We won't lie to her, obviously. However, I am not sure how much we let her know about.
I'm crying about this all right now. I don't cry about it often. Barely at all. But I guess it's getting more real now. I tend to be able to hold things together until the actual moment and then everything falls apart. Of course, this is why I compartmentalize this stuff and pretend it's not an issue. I get short tempered with Avery and everyone else when I try to process the information. I am so not good at just waiting. I need decisions to be made and then I need to act upon those decisions quickly. I've never understood why people would get engaged and then take forever to get married. Just get married! You have already made the decision so do it. I'm all off track now. At least I'm not crying anymore. Perhaps loads and loads of laundry will make this all better.
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