Flatline

                     
☝that is a graph of my weight loss 
So that goal of losing weight? I'm being as good as I can be without going overboard. I'm walking 4 miles (fast) up and down the hills around here everyday. I'm doing Crossfit twice a week. I'm logging my calories to make sure I don't go crazy. I've been doing this for three weeks now. Do you know what I have to show for it? NOTHING.  Absolutely nothing. I have lost exactly one pound and that's a come and go pound (you know, the one you have if you weigh yourself now, but not when you weigh yourself in 5 hours, but then it's back in another 5 hours).  WTF? Stupid, stupid aging. I blame it all on aging. There are two things keeping me going on this kick:

• I feel better, mentally and physically, throughout the day when I walk in the mornings. 
• My body has rearranged some of its mass in a more pleasing way. 

However, my body fat % is still very high and my weight is still high. I haven't paid close attention to my body fat percentage, but I can say that if it's changed, it's only changed by at most 1%. 

So this is my frustration for the moment. I don't really have much else to say about it other than fuck aging's effect on my metabolism. 

Crossfit yesterday was more squats, alternating those with handstand pushups. Before you go and get all impressed by me (as if you could after reading the above), know that I can do a handstand, but I cannot do a handstand push up. So I would do a handstand, then drop down and do a cheater pushup ... because I can't even do more than one proper pushup.

Fountains and Parks and Parenting Self-Esteem
Avery has been to fountains around town three of the last three days, tyvm. At least I'm keeping her active. We played at the OHSU fountain for two hours on Monday. I had Elise and Nolan for the afternoon, and we met Christie & Henry there for part of the time, so that two hours went by fast. After that I took all three kids to the park for a bit. I felt like a Good Mom and a Good Babysitter because of those things. But, on balance, Nolan exited the school without me or any other adult and made his way down the sidewalk in the parking lot where cars are typically going every which way. And later in the day, Elise just strolled out into the street when I was focused on Avery and Nolan. So, overall, it was a wash of a day in my parenting/babysitting/child handling self-esteem.

TV
Is anyone else watching Veep? The first episode I had trouble thinking of Julia Louis-Dreyfus' as anyone other than Sarah Palin, so I thought that would be a hinderance to me watching the show. A few episodes later and it's clearly not based on Sarah Palin in any way. It's a very funny and very clever show. Watching the show the other night, it struck me that I in no way have trouble thinking of it as a leap for a woman to be the VP. It's not like I've ever doubted a woman could do the job of VP, I think it's more than 10 years ago I would have looked at it as Hollywood trying to be progressive or whatever. Now it's just something that hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will soon(ish). I should note, the show is a comedy and funny for those who aren't into politics.