HUP

Hair and Urine and Poop (aka HUP)

I wonder how many of you readers will just skip to the next section given the title of this one?  Yet I have to complain here because where else would I complain?

Before Avery and I left for our lunch date with Amber & Josie, I walked into the garage and saw Eddie had pooped in there overnight.  I get Avery loaded into the car and proceed to clean up the poop.  This is HUP encounter number one. 

After Avery and I returned from lunch, I decided it was time to get back to daily dog walks.  So we take Eddie and Turtle out for a walk.  About half way through the walk - which keep in mind is relatively short compared to the old days because Eddie can't handle much of a walk - Avery announces she has to go potty.  A quick calculation in my head tells me she's consumed at least 20 oz of liquids since the last time she went potty about 2.5 - 3 hours prior, so I figure I have to head back home with her quickly.  She dawdles her way back home with no urgency whatsoever and goes potty at home.  This is HUP encounter number two. 

I felt badly that the dogs' already short walk was cut even shorter, so we headed back out with the dogs.  We make it through that walk at an excruciatingly slow pace given Avery's need to examine each and every tree, leaf, and stone.  Upon return home, I decide to brush the dogs.  This is HUP encounter number three.

Then I decide to sweep the entire garage because I already have to sweep up all the dog hair just brushed from the dogs anyway.  Sweep, sweep, sweep ... uh oh, I missed a turd.  I have to clean that one up. HUP encounter number four.

As I'm sweeping, I realize I have to clean out Eddie indoor dog crate.  On Friday, while moving it out to the garage because of the party we had on Friday night,  I realized there was a small turd in the back of the crate.  I don't think it was very old, but it was hard to spot because the mat in the crate is poop colored anyway.  So I did what anyone with little time and desire to clean out a dog crate would do: closed it and left in the garage.  Anyway, I can't very well leave that turd in there much longer, so I clean out the turd and wipe down the crate with bleach water.  HUP encounter number five.

Next, I realize I haven't picked up the poop in the dog run for several days. I glove up and head out.  I pick up an insane amount of dog poop considering Eddie poops in the house or garage half the time anyway.  HUP encounter number six. 

As I'm taking the bag of poop away, I realize I've stepped in a big pile of poop whilst cleaning up.  Great.  HUP encounter number seven.

Exhausted from so much HUP, I head upstairs to get some laundry done.  This is when I see a large pool of urine on the floor of our bedroom.  Please, oh please, let this be a fluke!  If I have to deal with fecal *and* urinary incontinence from Eddie, I don't know how long I'm going to last.  I immediately took it out on Avery by snapping at her when she asked me to read her a book.  She wasn't bothered, but I apologized and explained I was frustrated.  HUP encounter number eight.

I decide that I need a break, so I tell Avery it's time for quiet time in her room for 45 minutes.  About half way through, she asks me to come upstairs to put the blanket on her.  I oblige.  When I enter her room, my nose tells me she's peed and pooped in the potty in her room, so I clean up that and ensure she's properly wiped and washed.  HUP number nine.  

A change will do you good

I have made a few small changes in my routine that are currently working out for the better.  First, I have started to shower at night rather than in the morning.  I'm a rare breed of person who doesn't love a shower (I do when I'm really dirty or quite smelly, but not as a way to wake up).  For me, showering is a functional activity rather than a pleasurable one.  As such, I tend to put off showering in the morning as long as I can.  The result of that habit is that I tend to lounge around until I talk myself into getting going, but then I still have 30-45 minutes of time before I can actually go.  Showering at night, after dinner, means that I can let my hair air dry (no blow drying - woohoo!), completely wash my face and get all ready for bed, brush my teeth, get into jammies, etc, then head downstairs to watch our evening TV.  The benefit in the morning is that I get dressed and ready to go immediately upon waking up because I'm not putting off the shower.  Plus, my hair oddly looks better in the morning.

My second minor change is the part of my hair.  You see, I choose the side I would part my hair on based on my ears.  I have one ear that sticks out more than the other one.  Logic-based Megan decided that, in order to minimize the chance my ear would stick out through my hair, I should have the part of the other side of my head, so there would be more hair covering the ear that sticks out more.  See?  Totally logical.  Except for one thing.  My hair looks significantly better if I part on the other side.  I considered chopping off all my hair before Mexico.  I decided to at least wait until Spring if I do it, but it got me to thinking: if I'm ready to chop off all my hair and display my uneven ears, then screw the part.  So I flipped it.  And damn it, why didn't I do it years ago?