Adventure

An Adventure and a Half

We went to see the Hood to Coast movie last night.  It was better than I expected; it was funny, touching, and inspiring, all at the same time.  We left downtown about 9 PM and arrived at Rachele's to pick up Avery about 9:30.  That was when the fun started.

Prior to going inside to get Avery, I asked D if he thought we should just spend the night at Rachele's.  Before I could even finish the question, he replied, "Noooooo!" in a tone that said, "You're being a ridiculous worry wort, Megan."  I didn't push it.  Truth be told, I didn't feel the need to stay overnight there, either.  We should have.

The drive to the entrance to our neighborhood wasn't bad.  We slid a few times, but nothing scary that could be classified as a near miss or anything close to it.  We'd decided to take the lower entrance to the neighborhood. Driving down an icy hill as steep as the upper entrance hill would be an even worse idea that attempting to ascend an equally steep hill.  We barely made it into the neighborhood before the car started to slide.  We slid into a curb on the right side of the street, bounced off the curb and slid into the other curb before the car finally settled as if we had parked it purposefully facing the wrong direction, but at least against the curb.  That was the fun part of the journey.

The less fun part began when we realized we would need to walk home.  It's only a half mile walk, but ...

• The street and sidewalks were covered in a continuous sheet of ice
• We didn't have a coat for Avery (parents of the year, right here)
• Neither of us had on appropriate shoes with any sort of traction
• The temperature was about 29 degrees with a very cold wind blowing
• It's now 10:00 at night and Avery's asleep in the car seat in jammies

I managed to get out of the car and stand up.  Yes, that was a feat in itself.  I put my coat and hat on, put my purse over my shoulder, then proceed to get Avery out of the car seat and drape her blanket over her and cover that with Damian's sport coat.  I put my gloves and hat on Avery.  I started up the hill carrying Avery while D locked the car and got his coat on.  I walked on a lawn for the length of most of the first house, then had to move to the sidewalk to get by their driveway.  It was terrifying because I was holding Avery and all I could think about was falling and hitting her head.

I managed to make it to the second house, but that house had no lawn or verge in front of it - at least not in a location that would help us proceed up the hill.  So it was just sheer ice with absolutely nothing to grip.  I decide to wait until D made his way to us. Avery announces she's cold, so I realize I should take off my coat and give it to her.  I do this and put on D's sport coat.  We at least had a hat for Avery in the car, so D put that on Avery and gave me my hat that I'd put on Avery earlier.  The three of us start to attempt to walk further, but get no where.  We are discussing what we can do, but coming up with nothing.   Desperate, I decide to take off my shoes to see if I can get more traction that way.  I can.  I hand my shoes to D and take Avery from him and start walking in an attempt to get to the next lot, which is empty (no sidewalk, therefore, it's navigable).  I start to walk while holding Avery and make it five or six steps.  Then my socks lost traction and I started to slide backwards. Eventually I fell and said, "Shit!"  I hit my left knee hard and caught myself with my right wrist.  Avery was not hurt, but was obviously freaked out.  D and I started bickering, which did not help the situation. 

At this point, I transfer Avery to D somehow and he hands me his iPad.  You know, because we wouldn't want to leave the iPad in the car when attempting to navigate a steep hill covered in a sheet of ice.  As we're discussing another movement attempt, I slip and fall again, this time in a very cartoon-like manner backwards.  My feet just went out from under me.  I landed hard on my butt and the iPad went flying.  This is when I yelled, "Fuck!"

All of this is occurring in front of a single house.  Now I'm sitting there with no shoes on and no coat on a sheet of ice and I'm unable to even crawl. I cannot move an inch.  D and I are fighting over what to do.  Finally, the owners of the house notice us and open their garage.  We explain we're stuck, which the woman clearly couldn't grasp until she stepped onto her driveway and realized one simply cannot walk.  D managed to pass Avery to her, then grab my hand to pull me to him. He was standing on a very small piece of non-sidewalk in front of their house.  We get into the garage and I calm down quickly.

After we go inside, we discuss what we can do.  Who can we call?  There aren't a lot of answers at that point, so at 10:30, I call our neighbor, Maggie, in sort of a Hail Mary to see if their car is any better on ice.  It wasn't so we hung up.  D and Mark, our new neighbor friend, decide to head out and see if they can find a route by hiking up the empty lot next to the house.  Meanwhile, Maggie calls back and says she has an idea.  They have two pairs of ice grips, designed to go over regular shoes and allow traction on ice.  She says she would try to hike down the hill and then one of us can hike back up with her carrying Avery, then leave Avery with her and head back down the hill to get the other person, back up, get Avery from her, etc.   After determining that D's route is a no go, I call Maggie back and tell her, yes, please risk life and limb to hike down a steep, icy hill so we can come back from our most important movie viewing.  She says she's on her way.

Now we proceed to have awkward conversation with Mark and Sara.  They both have somewhat thick accents, I think Chinese.  Regardless, English is not their first language so we have a number of moments where a question is asked with a blank stare as the response.  At one point, we're sitting at the table and Avery interrupts a fascinating discussion on the weather to announce, "I farted."  Yeah, that was super awkward.  I replied, "Then what do you say?"  She replies with a grin, "Excuse me!"  I then quickly explain she doesn't need to announce each time "that happens."

Maggie knocks on the door a while later.  I jump up from the table and dash to the door to unlock it and let her in ... at someone else's house.  I was just so desperate to get moving and get home that I wasn't thinking.  Anyway, we get the grips on D's shoes, get Avery all bundled up in my coat, a pair of pants over her jammies, her hat, my gloves, etc.  I brace myself for another 30 minutes of awkward conversation, but then Maggie suggests that D take both grips since he's carrying Avery, but she and I could each take one grip.  I leap at that suggestion.

First, we have to get down the 12 or so steps from Mark and Sara's front door to the sidewalk.  12 icy steps.  I can't grip the wall because one hand is linked with Maggie and the other is holding the freakin' iPad.  So I shove the iPad down the back of my pants and that works beautifully.

From here on out, the story is non-eventful.  We all slipped and almost fell a few times, but no one actually fell.  We chatted as we hiked up the hill.  Despite the fact that I was wearing just D's sport coat, I was fine temperature-wise.  My legs were cold because my pants were still soaking wet, but that is to be expected.

Safe and sound!

When we arrived home, it was midnight. We walked in the door in great spirits and so very grateful to have made it home safely.  At this point, I ask Avery if she wants hot chocolate because if you're going to have such an adventure, it's important to throw all rules out the window and just go with it.  We have hot chocolate and take the family picture (using D's iPhone because, of course, the camera's battery is not charged).  Then we head up to bed and suggest Avery sleep with us and forget about earning a sleeping star.

I woke up about 4 AM starving and in pain.  I managed to get back to sleep around 5 AM.  When I woke for the day at 8:30, I realized I can almost not bend my right wrist at all.  At first I couldn't even type, but as I type this, I can at least do that with minimal pain.  I can't pick anything up with that hand or do much else other than type.  My knee is bruised, but feels fine.  The rest of my body is as sore as one would expect with two sudden, hard falls on ice. My right wrist is slightly swollen, but only slightly.  I figure it must be a sprain since surely I would have felt it last night if I'd broken something.

Lessons learned:

• Always toss a coat and warm clothes for all in the car, even if we're not planning to need it
• Buy many pairs of ice grips for shoes, to be store in each car, as well as at home
• When ice is present, never attempt to ascend or descend (reason 1, reason 2) the hills into our neighborhood.  Snow tires will not help. 

Bad Words

Above, I noted the bad words I said loudly and clearly in front of Avery. When she turned three, it struck me that Avery hasn't yet said a "bad" word. I never, ever thought that D and I would manage to clean up our language around Avery enough to be able to have a shot at this. Hopefully last night's slip up doesn't result in an end to our streak.