Tapering

Depression

Well, I don't know if a few days a depressive episode makes, but I'm not doing well right now.  Last Tuesday, my PMHNP (therapist/drug dealer) and I decided the night sweats side effect had lingered long enough.  It was interfering with regular sleep on a frequent basis.  I would literally wake up with my clothing drenched with sweat and have to change clothes in the middle of the night.  Lest you suggest I just go commando because that option is considerably worse because I would then wake up because I could feel the sweat dripping down my thigh or off my stomach.  Also, because these particular night sweats result in me sleeping in one position for the duration (like I'm frozen, which is not how I usually sleep), I would almost always wake up to find my hands on my stomach and they would be pruny from so much moisture. So yeah, all of this is disgusting, but worse, it's a guarantee of a horrible night of sleep.  I can't really judge energy levels when I'm getting the crappiest sleep ever, so time to switch meds.

I tapered down my dose of Zoloft during the last week.  About three or four days ago is when I really started to feel the effects the lower dosage.  My temper is ultra quick, I cry at nothing (example: Eddie pooped in the house this morning and this afternoon - I cried both times), and I am so unmotivated to do anything other than what I absolutely must.  I've canceled several appointments in the past few days and am just pathetic.

Today was my first day on the new med, Prozac.  I've taken it before, but I have no idea how I do on it.  It was so long ago and it was in the time when family docs threw you on and took you off the SSRIs with no tapering up or down.  Now, tapering is a big deal.  Anyway, hopefully it'll work as well as the Zoloft, but be minus the night sweat side effect.  Fingers crossed. 

Croup

Avery is sick.  She had what I think was a minor case of croup (confident of croup, not sure if there are minor or major cases).  It was preceded by a week of a runny nose, which for Avery, is very, very rare.  Other kids are often snot machines, I've noticed.  Avery is not.  So I was struck that this runny nose stuck around.  Then, five days or so ago, she actually said her ear hurt in the middle of the night.  Again, she has never, ever complained of an ear ache.  I gave her Tylenol and asked her about it in the morning.  She said it didn't hurt anymore.

Sunday night she had a few of the barking coughs indicating that it was croup.  She did fine through the night, though.  Slept through it all and was happy as a clam all day Monday.  I sent her to school today after talking with the doctor.  Tonight, she has a fever of 100.4 (so, not high), but it's the first time she's had any fever during this little illness.  Plus, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier.  Regardless, she's asleep at 7:12 (early for her) and skipped dinner.  Hopefully she's back to her normal self tomorrow.

And here is when I say how grateful I am that she is such a trooper when she's sick.  Seriously.  She has got to rank up there with the most easy going kids.  She rarely cries, just wants to sleep, and doesn't fight the night time sleep even when she's coughing.  She doesn't even seem to get more clingy (most of the time).  Of course, tonight will be the night all of this ends because I committed the ultimate Mommy Blogger crime: bragged about my baby online.  However, I say, when kudos are called for, they should be given.  Because goodness knows those fits she throws over nothing at all are so very trying. 

Diet

Still on it.  I'm fucking frustrated as hell.  I truly expected that I'd be feeling some amazing results by now.  However, if I were reintroducing now, I'd have zero confidence in my ability to say any exhaustion is related to the reintroduced food or just par for the course.  I cried through acupuncture today because I am just so tired of being tired.

The food cravings are somewhat kicking in, but I'm not so sure it is craving versus just being in a negative state of mind.  What is the point of doing this if I'm going to feel almost no different?  I might as well eat that chocolate marshmallow treat that Avery brought home for Valentine's Day.  I'm not going to because damned if I won't make it to 21 days this time, but ARGH!