Mom, Dad, look away. I'm about to shame you
OK, I know that I'm supposed to be all disgusted by Charlie Sheen's behavior. But damn it, I just like him more now. The guy is off-his-rocker crazy and a total douche bag, but he's at least saying the thing that all of these self-important out-of-control celebrities are thinking anyway. My only disclaimer is that, of course, it's sad that his kids are mixed up in all this. Hopefully someone in one of their families steps up and takes the kids out of the situation because neither of their parents are fit to parent them. But, aside from the children being involved, I am thoroughly enjoying the Charlie Sheen crazy fest. The top 15 Charlie Sheen quotes just crack me up. These is taken from this ABC news article.
On his natural high: "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." ("20/20.")
On how he survived his other highs: "I probably took more than anybody could survive. ... I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. ... I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs." ("20/20.")
On his daily life: "It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view." ("20/20.") I think this is my favorite. All we do is put wins in the record books. And the underwear quote - awesome.
On his two girlfriends: "You've read about the goddesses, come on. They're an international sensation. These are my girlfriends. These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart. ... It's a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It's like an organic union of the hearts." ("20/20.")
On his prediliction for porn stars: "They're the best at what they do and I'm the best at what I do. And together it's like, it's on. Sorry, Middle America. Yeah, I said it."("20/20.") I love that he apologized to Middle America. Cracks me up!
On why he won't get married again: "I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer -- I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero." ("20/20.")
On partying: "I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party man, it's epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children." ("20/20.")
On how his daughters with his ex-wife Denise Richards will regard him in the future: "They'll wake up one day and realize how cool dad is. And, you know, signs all the checks on the front, not the back. And you know, we need him and we need his wisdom and his bitchin'-ness." ("20/20.") Clearly, he's delusional on this, but I gotta admire his commitment to his delusion.
On his honesty: "I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I'm extremely old-fashioned. I'm a nobleman. I'm chivalrous." ("20/20.")
On his dual personality: "I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself." ("Piers Morgan Tonight.") Hilarious. He achieved complete egomania and is self-deprecating at the same time - that takes some skill.
On the potential for John Stamos to replace him on "Two and a Half Men:" "I like John, but he doesn't have what I have and the show sucks if he's on it. Sorry, just speaking the truth." ("Access Hollywood.)
On how he cured himself of addiction: "I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind, and unlearned 22 years of fiction ... the fiction of AA. It's a silly book written by a broken-down fool." ("The Today Show.")
On how he avoids relapsing: "I just don't do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA." ("The Today Show.")
On why he's not worried about "Two and a Half Men's" indefinite hiatus: "Well, I mean, first of all come Wednesday morning they're gonna rename it Charlie Bros. and not Warner Bros. [Ed. note: This has not yet happened.] Duh, winning! It's, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c'mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even warm." ("The Today Show.")
On his desire to be his true self: "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain." ("The Today Show.")
Big day
It's a big day tomorrow. Avery goes to school; I have to cook a few things to make the five days I'm away easier for D; the handyman is coming over to install several things; I have a haircut in the afternoon; and I have a surprise for D and Avery while I'm gone to pull together. Phew. Fortunately, I have (hopefully) elimination diet energy.
Today
Today, despite having acupuncture and not having napped since late last week (yea me!), I was hit with exhaustion about 2 pm. So was Avery. We both napped from, wait for it, hooooooollllllddddd ... 2 to 5:30! Both of us. We slept right through swim class and then kept on going.
Before the nap, Avery and I hit the OHSU tram for a ride up. We meant to meet Christie & Henry there, but just missed them. Anyway, after that, we headed over to Christie's for a playdate. Then Christie, bless her heart, offered to watch Avery while I went to the doctor. I was planning to take Avery with me, but I won't turn down a playdate instead, so that worked out perfectly. So perfectly that Avery was pissed to have to leave Christie's. She did not want to come home.
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