Fit

Successful fit!
Two posts in one day! But only because I forgot to include this in the post earlier today. Current status of Avery's (epic) tantrums: 1-2 per month. She throws minor little fits that I consider to be normal 4yo behavior more frequently than that, of course.

So yesterday we went to Nolan's BD party. It was a slip and slide / water toy party in the G's backyard. One of the better 3yo BD parties I've been to - it hit the perfect note. Anyway, I brought a big frisbee for the kids to play with. Avery and I started playing with it right before we needed to leave. Then some of the other kids joined it. When it came time for us to leave, I made a key mistake of ASKING Avery if she thought we should leave it behind for the other kids to play with. This was a mistake because I never had any intent otherwise. It just came out as a question. I quickly told her I made a mistake and that it wasn't a choice and we were leaving it. She threw herself on the ground and proceeded to cry. I quickly scooped her up, mostly because we needed to get out of there. When I did that, Avery started to scream, "I'm ANGRY! I don't want to leave the toy! I want to play with it at home! I WILL play with it at home!" RHG mentioned via text that she was wondering if this would be the start of one of Avery's epic tantrums. She's never been witness to one, so she doesn't know what to look for. At that point, I was pretty sure we were trending into non-epic territory because 1. Avery let me touch her when I picked her up and 2. she was able to express that she was angry and why she was angry.

In any case, we get in the car and Avery's still pitching a pretty big fit. Screaming at the top of her lungs, very angry with me: "You broke my opportunity to play with the toy tonight!" (interesting choice of words, but I do use the word opportunity a lot with her, so I guess it makes sense). At this point, D said to her that it was over. We weren't going back for the toy so she'd better figure out a way to make herself feel better or she was just going to waste time crying. She said, "Cuddly toy." Luckily we had a doll on the floor of my always-pristine (ha!) sweet ride. Mom handed that to her and she squeezed the stuffing out of that thing ... and then she stopped crying. Woohoo! Self-soothing. The tantrum ended here. She shifted back to her sweet self by the end of the ride home.

We get home. Avery and I head upstairs to change - me for the Timbers game, her into footie jammies so she can watch a movie with Nain. Now she really turned into a sweetheart making my heart just melt and melt more. As D and I are about to leave, she calls us back over to the couch and says, "I'm sorry I threw a big fit earlier." Be still my already melted heart. That's pretty much all it takes to win me over. My daughter offering an unsolicited, non-suggested apology.

I have absolutely no expectation that this is the end of her epic fits. But it gives me more confidence that she's learning how to soothe herself when she gets angry/frustrated/upset.